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Satire

El Porto Surfers Petition FEMA To Declare 62-Degree Water A Federal Disaster – Surfing LA

Coalition demands hazard pay, grief counselling, and a national day of mourning for their toes MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — A coalition of El Porto surfers filed a formal petition Thursday demanding the Federal Emergency Management Agency designate the local 62-degree water temperature a federal disaster, citing “catastrophic discomfort,” “widespread toe trauma,” and “an unacceptable gasp …

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Huntington Beach Declares Itself Surf City For 47th Straight Year Despite Mounting Evidence – Surfing LA

Officials defend the title against rival claims, the dictionary, and the surf itself HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — City officials triumphantly renewed Huntington Beach’s claim to the title “Surf City USA” for the 47th consecutive year Friday, defending the designation against rival cities, the plain meaning of words, and a recent independent study finding the waves …