The Queuing Distance Multiplier: Scientific Proof That the Person Behind You Stands 127% Closer When You Are Holding Hot Coffee
Satire

The Queuing Distance Multiplier: Scientific Proof That the Person Behind You Stands 127% Closer When You Are Holding Hot Coffee

A satire on personal space in lines, arguing that a localized Personal Space Dissolution Field attracts the person behind the user, specifically amplifying their proximity by 127% when the user is carrying something spillable. The Personal Space Dissolution Field The distance between people in a line in Quezon City is determined not by social norms, …

When Your Childhood Issues Become Brand Identity – Screw the News
Satire

When Your Childhood Issues Become Brand Identity – Screw the News

Trauma as Marketing Strategy In what Los Angeles marketing executives call “authentic personal branding,” a generation of entrepreneurs has discovered that weaponizing childhood trauma makes for excellent content strategy. These therapeutic exhibitionists have transformed daddy issues, abandonment anxiety, and attachment disorders into carefully curated Instagram aesthetics complete with color-coordinated mood boards. The monetization of psychological …