Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests
Satire

Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests

The “Biglaang Bisita” and the Scramble for Pandesal: Hospitality Under Duress in Valenzuela The Provincial Relative “Dropping By” from the Bus Terminal The doorbell rings at 8 PM on a Tuesday. It’s your second cousin from Pampanga, whom you haven’t seen in five years. “Dumaan lang! Nas Monumento na kasi ako, naisipan kong dumiretso.” (Just …

Taguig Gardening Mishaps
Satire

Taguig Gardening Mishaps

The Concrete Jungle’s Struggle to Cultivate a Patch of Green The Assassination of the “Unkillable” Snake Plant Inspired by the biophilic design of BGC lobbies, you decide to bring nature into your 30th-floor condo. You start with a Snake Plant (Sansevieria), touted across the internet as the “indestructible plant for black thumbs.” You place it …

San Juan Surprise Parties
Satire

San Juan Surprise Parties

The “SURPRISE!” That Surprised the Wrong Person: A Case of Misguided Enthusiasm The Ambush The plan was foolproof: wait for Miguel to get home from work, jump out from behind his sofa, and yell “SURPRISE!” for his 30th birthday. His wife, Carla, had gathered twenty friends in their San Juan condo, lights off, at 7 …

Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response
Satire

Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response

An Examination of the Sudden, Explosive Auditory Event Where a Simple Allergy Transforms into a Full-Scale Emergency and a Demanding Social Ritual The Sudden, Chaotic Auditory EventIn Pateros, a sneeze is never a quiet, solitary event; it is a **High-Volume, Public Spectacle** known as a **Sneezing Fit**. This is a rapid-fire, explosive sequence of loud …

Valenzuela Gardening Mishaps
Satire

Valenzuela Gardening Mishaps

From “Green Thumb” to “Black Death”: The Horticultural Hazards of Valenzuela The Polo Park Balcony “Herbicide” Incident Inspired by a cooking show, a condo dweller in Polo Park buys small pots of basil, oregano, and mint for her balcony garden. Eager to see growth, she fertilizes them daily with a “special plant food” recommended by …

Taguig Pet Costumes
Satire

Taguig Pet Costumes

The Anthropomorphic Aspirations of BGC’s Furry Elite The Seasonal Spectacle: From Halloween to Christmas In Taguig, human holidays are merely a framework for pet couture. Halloween is not for children; it’s for French Bulldogs. The streets of Serendra become a runway for dogs dressed as pirates, superheroes, and, inevitably, other food items (a dog dressed …