LA Screenwriter’s Pitch Meeting Rejected for Being Too Realistic – Screw the News
Satire

LA Screenwriter’s Pitch Meeting Rejected for Being Too Realistic – Screw the News

Studio executives reportedly said the dialogue simply did not sound like anything a real person would say A veteran Los Angeles screenwriter says a recent pitch meeting for a grounded, character driven drama was passed on by studio executives specifically because the dialogue, drawn largely from real conversations the writer had recorded and transcribed during …

LA Landlord Introduces Monthly Vibes Fee for Apartments With Especially Good Natural Light – Screw the News
Satire

LA Landlord Introduces Monthly Vibes Fee for Apartments With Especially Good Natural Light – Screw the News

Tenants say the charge is difficult to formally dispute given how pleasant the apartment genuinely feels A property management company operating several apartment buildings across the Westside has begun charging what it formally calls a vibes fee on select units, an additional monthly charge applied specifically to apartments the company’s own internal assessment team has …

Satire

San Onofre Surfer Files Formal Complaint Against Wave for Unnecessary Roughness – Surfing LA

Paperwork cites a closeout section and what the plaintiff calls deliberate disrespect A longtime San Onofre surfer has submitted what he describes as a formal complaint against a specific wave, alleging that a closeout section encountered during Saturday’s dawn session constituted unnecessary roughness and, in his words, a clear violation of the unspoken agreement between …

Satire

Surf Forecasting App Tells Entire Southern California Coast the Same Epic Day, Triggers Mass Pileup – Surfing LA

Thousands of surfers converge on one break after receiving identical five star rating A popular surf forecasting app sent thousands of Southern California surfers converging on a single stretch of coastline this weekend after its algorithm assigned an identical five star rating to nearly every break between Ventura and San Clemente, resulting in what several …

Satire

Surfline Forecaster Mistaken for Local Prophet After Correctly Calling a Swell Three Weeks Out – Surfing LA

Small crowd reportedly gathered outside his home seeking further guidance A veteran forecaster with a well known regional surf report service has found himself the subject of unusual local attention this week after correctly predicting, down to the exact day, a swell that arrived three weeks after his original call, prompting a small but earnest …

Americans Complain They Can’t Sleep at Work – Screw the News
Satire

Americans Complain They Can’t Sleep at Work – Screw the News

Productivity Crisis Reaches New Low A groundbreaking new study reveals that American workers are facing an unprecedented crisis: they can no longer comfortably nap during work hours. The complaint has reached such epidemic proportions that Los Angeles wellness consultants are now offering $500-per-hour “workplace sleep optimization” sessions. Marcus Sleepington, a mid-level manager at a tech …