Taguig Theme Parks
Satire

Taguig Theme Parks

The Quest for Fun in Lines Longer Than EDSA The Pilgrimage to the “Happiest Place on Earth” (NCR Branch) The decision is made: a day at a major theme park in nearby Laguna or Manila. You pay P3,500 per ticket, P500 for parking, and wake up at 5 AM to “beat the crowd.” You do …

San Juan Sports Bloopers
Satire

San Juan Sports Bloopers

The Inter-Barangay Basketball Championship Free-Throw That Became Legend The Pressure Cooker The championship game of the Inter-Barangay Basketball League was tied, 78-78, with 0.3 seconds on the clock. A foul was called. Up stepped Jojo, a reliable guard for Barangay Isabelita, for two free throws. The gym was packed, roaring. The fate of the trophy, …

Pateros Barangay ID Photos: The Annual Ordeal of the Bad Lighting, the Forced Smile, and the Permanent Record of Your Worst Hair Day
Satire

Pateros Barangay ID Photos: The Annual Ordeal of the Bad Lighting, the Forced Smile, and the Permanent Record of Your Worst Hair Day

A Chronicle of the Bureaucratic Portrait Session Where Uniformity is Key and the Final Result is an Utterly Unflattering, Yet Mandatory, Form of Identification The Permanent Record of a Bad DayIn Pateros, the annual renewal of the **Barangay ID** is a minor, yet deeply stressful, bureaucratic ordeal centered entirely around the mandatory, utterly unflattering **ID …

Pasig Aggressive Loyalty Cards
Satire

Pasig Aggressive Loyalty Cards

The Plastic Pyramid Scheme: Why Pasig Commuters Are Carrying 40+ Loyalty Cards to Save Pennies and Lose Sanity The Wallet of Weight and Worry In Pasig City, every purchase, from a pack of gum to a new car, is tied to a complicated, aggressively marketed loyalty program. This has led to the phenomenon of **Pasig …

Valenzuela Theme Parks
Satire

Valenzuela Theme Parks

Enchanted Kingdomdoms and Star City Stress: The Rollercoaster of Valenzuela Day Trips The Eternal Queue of Enchanted Kingdom A family from Valenzuela arrives at Enchanted Kingdom with a battle plan for fun. They are immediately defeated by the first enemy: the line for the “Space Shuttle” roller coaster. The queue snakes for what seems like …

Taguig Surprise Parties
Satire

Taguig Surprise Parties

The Elaborate Ruse That Nearly Gives the Guest of Honor a Heart Attack The Stressful Web of Deceit Planning a surprise party in Taguig is less a celebration and more a high-stakes heist movie where the mark is your best friend. The conspiracy involves a cast of dozens: the roommate who must hide decorations and …