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Philippines Announces It Has Found the Perfect Balance Between US and China, Plans to Announce It Again Next Week When It Changes
Satire

Philippines Announces It Has Found the Perfect Balance Between US and China, Plans to Announce It Again Next Week When It Changes

Foreign Policy Officials Confirm Nation Is Third Most Strategically Situated Country in the World, Which Is Both an Asset and a Problem Bohiney.com | The London Prat MANILA, Philippines – Philippine foreign policy officials confirmed this week that the country has achieved a careful and nuanced balance in its relationships with the United States and …

Globe Telecom Legend Retires After 28 Years, Leaves Behind App That Connects Successfully on Third or Fourth Attempt
Satire

Globe Telecom Legend Retires After 28 Years, Leaves Behind App That Connects Successfully on Third or Fourth Attempt

Departing CEO Credited with Transforming Philippine Telecommunications from Unreliable to Merely Inconsistent Bohiney.com | The London Prat BONIFACIO GLOBAL CITY, Philippines – Ernest Cu, the chief executive who guided Globe Telecom for 28 years through the transformation of the Philippine telecommunications landscape from a market with two fixed-line providers and a payphone that may or …

Property Speculators Arrive in Palisades Days After Fire to Make ‘Friendly Offers’; Governor Issues Order Asking Them to Leave – Screw the News
Satire

Property Speculators Arrive in Palisades Days After Fire to Make ‘Friendly Offers’; Governor Issues Order Asking Them to Leave – Screw the News

Cash Buyers Targeting Traumatized Homeowners With Below-Market Offers Described as ‘Predatory’; Speculators Describe Themselves as ‘Providing Liquidity’ Bohiney.com | The London Prat PACIFIC PALISADES / ALTADENA, Calif. – Within days of the January 2025 Los Angeles wildfires, before the debris had been cleared and while many homeowners were still in emergency shelters learning whether their …

Michael Jackson Biopic Approaches One of the Biggest Musical Biopic Debuts Ever; This Fact Is Doing a Lot of Work for Everyone Involved – Screw the News
Satire

Michael Jackson Biopic Approaches One of the Biggest Musical Biopic Debuts Ever; This Fact Is Doing a Lot of Work for Everyone Involved – Screw the News

Fan Enthusiasm Drives Preview Numbers Higher; Critics and Audiences Prepare for the Most Complicated ‘How Was the Movie’ Conversation in Film History Bohiney.com | The London Prat HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – The Michael Jackson biographical film, which has been in production, publicity, and cultural anticipation for long enough that its development timeline has its own complicated …

Los Angeles Prepares to Host Eight World Cup Matches, Warns Visitors That Traffic Was Already Like This Before the Tournament – Screw the News
Satire

Los Angeles Prepares to Host Eight World Cup Matches, Warns Visitors That Traffic Was Already Like This Before the Tournament – Screw the News

FIFA Event Expected to Bring 1.5 Million Additional People to Region; Traffic Models Suggest This Is Technically Distinguishable from Normal Bohiney.com | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Los Angeles is preparing to host eight FIFA World Cup 2026 matches at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood this summer, a distinction that makes it the most …

Gray Wolf Spotted in Los Angeles County for First Time in Over a Century; Real Estate Agents Begin Compiling Comparable Sales Data – Screw the News
Satire

Gray Wolf Spotted in Los Angeles County for First Time in Over a Century; Real Estate Agents Begin Compiling Comparable Sales Data – Screw the News

Animal Once Absent from Region for 100-Plus Years Now Confirmed Present; Wildlife Officials Ask Public Not to Try to List the Sighting on Zillow Bohiney.com | The London Prat LOS ANGELES COUNTY, Calif. – Wildlife officials confirmed this week that a gray wolf has been documented in Los Angeles County for the first time in …

California Governor Makes Fourth Trip to Washington to Request Wildfire Disaster Funding; White House Consults Calendar to Confirm It Has Been Received – Screw the News
Satire

California Governor Makes Fourth Trip to Washington to Request Wildfire Disaster Funding; White House Consults Calendar to Confirm It Has Been Received – Screw the News

Newsom Notes Other Disaster-Hit States Received Federal Support More Promptly; Administration Notes Those States Voted Differently Bohiney.com | The London Prat WASHINGTON, D.C. / SACRAMENTO, Calif. – California Governor Gavin Newsom made his fourth trip to the nation’s capital this year to advocate for federal disaster funding for Los Angeles wildfire survivors, reiterating his request …